So with the horrible job situation, what are we Singaporeans counting on to save our economy? The casinos! Yes, it says something about the uncertain times we live in that our best hope involves gambling. But how do we know if our upcoming casinos will be any good? We got together a bunch of habitual gamblers to come up with this list of SIGNS YOU’RE GAMBLING AT A HALF PAST SIX CASINO:
1. If the dealer gets a blackjack, you have to take off one article of clothing.
2. When you try to cash in your $100 chip, you’re asked to “wait until more people lose money first, can?”
3. The roulette wheel consists of an Ah Beng throwing a ping pong ball into a flushing toilet.
4. Tonight’s floorshow performers include the Bukit Gorblok Community Centre Line Dancing Aunties.
5. In addition to baccarat, blackjack and the usual games, it also has tables for Old Maid, Jenga, Uno and Chee Ku Pak.
6. At the cashier, you can settle your debts by cash, NETS, credit card or healthy organs.
7. The slot machine pays out in mothballs.
8. The dealer counts using his fingers, then takes off his shoes and socks to include his toes.
9. That Elvis impersonator up there looks awfully like your dad.
10. At the front entrance, there are all these guys writhing on the floor with broken kneecaps.
11. Las Vegas has New York, New York. This casino has Newater, Newater.
12. The cards all have Pokemon on them.
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